I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
false alarm, still single
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
