If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
