She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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