i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
