just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
