ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
