i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need water and some morals
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
