did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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