im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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