the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
