I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
