no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
