His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
