just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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