I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
