Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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