hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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