Can Purell be used as lube?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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