the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
