How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize