you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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