why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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