it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
