Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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