So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize