using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
