I just saw a hot homeless man
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
