Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
