There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
