Its about making memories worth repressing
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
