Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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