You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
