the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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