After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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