no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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