Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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