you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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