we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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