How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
