Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
