I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
True strength comes from lack of pants
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
