The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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