We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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