somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
