doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the condom got lost in my hair
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
