Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
