Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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