did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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