I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
