Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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