I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize