oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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