she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
