I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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