Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
