I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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